WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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