Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
