quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
