All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
