if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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