i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize