If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
