You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
