Banned from zoo.
Again?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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