There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
