I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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