tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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