I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
