Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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