he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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