if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.