i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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