p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
