Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest

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  (267): After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest http://tfl.nu/54ul
  Replies (41) Good night (28204) Bad night (1292)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (1311) Bad night (4489)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...

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  (214): It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil... http://tfl.nu/iyla
  Replies (24) Good night (4909) Bad night (2126)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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  (317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4
  Replies (6) Good night (1047) Bad night (4858)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.

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  (305): look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no. http://tfl.nu/new9
  Replies (23) Good night (1625) Bad night (3992)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3672) Bad night (846)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.

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  (570): Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful. http://tfl.nu/oenz
  Replies (6) Good night (1828) Bad night (1055)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I fcuked ip.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?

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  (325): I fcuked ip. (214): Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge? http://tfl.nu/167p
  Replies (2) Good night (1587) Bad night (703)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!

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  (403): And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH! http://tfl.nu/fcac
  Replies (4) Good night (2225) Bad night (573)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover

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  (303): I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover http://tfl.nu/1e3z
  Replies (9) Good night (1357) Bad night (582)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.

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  (573): It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children. http://tfl.nu/cjdr
  Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (505)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Good point.

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  (334): That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating. (678): Good point. http://tfl.nu/bwir
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (438)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.

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  (734): My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet. http://tfl.nu/i7lx
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (733)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD

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  (505): SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD http://tfl.nu/ms1e
  Replies (1) Good night (271) Bad night (571)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.

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  (865): once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go. http://tfl.nu/16jo
  Replies (3) Good night (254) Bad night (512)

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