Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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