Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.

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(216): View more from Ohio

you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...

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(810): View more from Michigan

My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

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(510): View more from California

i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was

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(747): View more from California

Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad

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