There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.