I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
this boner is exhausting
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize