Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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  (858): I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association. http://tfl.nu/vbvm
  Replies (15) Good night (4395) Bad night (522)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

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  (561): So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon. http://tfl.nu/ni4o
  Replies (10) Good night (3336) Bad night (602)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.

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  (954): Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube. http://tfl.nu/0ubi
  Replies (38) Good night (737) Bad night (4738)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life

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  (217): if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life http://tfl.nu/29yn
  Replies (11) Good night (4429) Bad night (1030)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

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  (703): She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all. http://tfl.nu/qt2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5115) Bad night (1057)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons

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  (202): all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons http://tfl.nu/n087
  Replies (15) Good night (6402) Bad night (917)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.

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  (484): wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day. http://tfl.nu/pyo4
  Replies (7) Good night (5049) Bad night (932)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...

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  (708): For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night... http://tfl.nu/rl66
  Replies (9) Good night (3391) Bad night (856)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

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  (443): Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking. http://tfl.nu/1cd2
  Replies (13) Good night (3869) Bad night (1068)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob

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  (302): Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob http://tfl.nu/818e
  Replies (2) Good night (2601) Bad night (962)
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  (714): View more from California

  He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

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  (714): He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE. http://tfl.nu/67b2
  Replies (11) Good night (688) Bad night (1451)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.

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  (316): I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry. http://tfl.nu/w045
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

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  (630): I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable http://tfl.nu/z2xr
  Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (600)
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  (916): View more from California

  I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.

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  (916): I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger. http://tfl.nu/3n2g
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (252)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.

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  (214): I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing. http://tfl.nu/945s
  Replies (14) Good night (1628) Bad night (312)

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