Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  making cat noises will not fix the situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): making cat noises will not fix the situation. http://tfl.nu/m8sq
  Replies (6) Good night (3406) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex http://tfl.nu/fie1
  Replies (46) Good night (4581) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9
  Replies (23) Good night (919) Bad night (3968)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag. http://tfl.nu/pvf6
  Replies (22) Good night (5858) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed. http://tfl.nu/knrb
  Replies (25) Good night (5827) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style. http://tfl.nu/z5di
  Replies (11) Good night (3667) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well. http://tfl.nu/7lfy
  Replies (20) Good night (7562) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me. http://tfl.nu/tnbf
  Replies (9) Good night (4063) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..? http://tfl.nu/v5ou
  Replies (5) Good night (3430) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (276): your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/ity0
  Replies (7) Good night (1236) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"? http://tfl.nu/g7e2
  Replies (8) Good night (1905) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right! http://tfl.nu/l472
  Replies (4) Good night (1651) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy http://tfl.nu/pdy7
  Replies (9) Good night (2081) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles. http://tfl.nu/5t8w
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney. http://tfl.nu/bmnx
  Replies (3) Good night (1204) Bad night (318)

Randomize