Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
