Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
