we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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