the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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