you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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