he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
