I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize