The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
