i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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