Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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