Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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