I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize