escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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