I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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