Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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