Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
