shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
