He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
