i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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