He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
