She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
