i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
