your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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