I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think my mom watched the whole time
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
