I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
