I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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