Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize