Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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