He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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