My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
