Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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