what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
