Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
