i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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