You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
