Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
