Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
