He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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