she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize