Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
