I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
