I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
