There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
