i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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