if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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