I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
